


Not at My Best

by ScorpionCyclone555



Series: How They Met [4]
Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: A Sinple Cheesburger, F/M, Gambling, Humor, Sarcasm, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 18:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9915158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScorpionCyclone555/pseuds/ScorpionCyclone555
Summary: "Its 4am and I am super drunk in a McDonalds, and you have been watching me trying to eat this burger for 30 minutes"





	

Toby stumbles out onto the sidewalk, and the backdoor to the bar slams closed behind him. He grunts and falls against the brick wall. Just because he won a buttload of money does not mean that they are alowed to kick him out. He knew the law!

"Screw you guys!" he slurs, banging his fist against the metal door in frustration.

When nobody opens the door at his request, he gives up and drunkinly walks down the alleyway and out towards the open road.

A disgruntled sound emits from the back of his throat, and he glances left and right. Squinting up at the illuminated street lamps, producing a tinged yellow glow onto the cement beneath him. An annoyed scowl grows at the edge of his lips, and he spins on his heels with a grunt and marches off down the sidewalk. Almost knocking himself over in the process, from the quickened movement, in his drunken state. 

A few paces down the road, past a couple rather large buildings, and an eerie playground, a large yellow and red sign could be seen in the distance. 

He gives a sigh of relief at the comforting sight of the golden arhes. He doesn't know to what extent he would go to for a cup off coffee and cheeseburger at this moment. Who knows how long he was cooped up in that bar. All he knows, is he went in at 8 in the evening, fully sober, and a pocket full of cash. Now, as he digs his hand down into his pocket, he pulls nothing out but dryer lint, and a fewloose pennies he had found deserted on the cement of the parking lot in front of his apartment.

Those idiots that owned the place had taken all his winnings. Claiming he was a cheater, and kicked him to the curb, with nothing left in his pockets. If he stayed any longer he probably would have ended up in this situation anyway.

He stumbles over his own feet, as he picks up his pace. Desperate for a refereshing meal and cup of jo to hopefully get rid of this loopy feeling in his head.

Eventully he's able to finish his trek, and he arrives at his destination a little less than 10 minutes later. Squinting at the blinding lights shining through the wall of windows along either side, but still drunk and giddy as he throws open the glass door.

There was a single worker silently as far as he could see, cleaning the tables with a frown on her face. Her jet balck hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail, letting the ends splay across her shoulders, and using her uniformed cap to pin back her bangs that would have otherwise fallen into her face repeatedly. 

She glances up at him, as he stumbles inside with a goofy frin on his face as he looks over at her. Noticing the short flash of recognition on her face.

Before even one incriminating work can make its way out of his mouth, she has her thumb jutted behind her, pointing to the counter. "Cashiers that way dude," and continues cleaning off the crumbs and leftoer straw wrappers from the table and seats.

His smrik falls as he feels a large wave of nasea hits him like a rock. He stumbles backwards and presses his cold palm to his forehead, groaning from the uncomfortable feeling in his head and stomach.

After a couple of minutes of recooperating he blinks rapidly and fixes his vision on the cashier counter. He needed that coffee now.

He orders to the best of his ability. Making a large attempt not to slur his words togther too badly, and avoid making a huge fool of himself. The cashier doesn't seem to notice, or care for that matter. He just grunts out responses, and types his order into the computer. 'He must be tired' Toby thought, glancing around at the clock in the back. 3:30 am. No wonder he's starving and exhausted.

It doesnt take long for his meal to be set in front of him, at the booth he was sitting soundly at. It wasnt all that bad, in the chilly atmosphere, it sobered him up just a bit...Just a bit.

He must have been more drunk than he thought, because he was struggling to unwrap the yellow papering wrapped around his cheesburger. The only thing seperating him from enjoying a nice meal.

He gets severely irritated, really quickly, and ends up shredding it into pieces like a two year old child getting frustrated while unwraping their Christmas present.

A wave of relief flows through him as he's able to peel off the last layer of annoying paper, and lift the burger to his face.

Apparently you shouldn't close your eyes whille youre eating and while you're drunk. Very drunk in fact, because he ends up smushing the ketchup smothered burger right into his nose.

He opens his eyes rather slowly, wondering why there was no contact with his mouth, and why there was a weird goody feeling on his nose. He crosses his eyes, and looks down at his nose lathered in mustard and ketchup, as he slowly removed the burger from his face.

He scrunched up his nose in frustrating, and attempted reaching up and licking it off with his tongue. Making several ridiculous faces in the process.

After a couple attempts and fails, he gives up and tries the eating thing again. He's sure to move it slowly towards his face, opening his mouth wide for a larger target. It ends up hitting the side of his mouth, which was good enough for him, as he leans forward to take a better bite.

He was really really drunk. He thought he was doing okay while he was walking, because he didnt trip and fall on his face once. But now...he was starting to realize his mistake as the burger collides with his nose for the third time.

He throws it down in frustration, reaching out to grab his cup of coffee, that has most likely cooled to an extent in the 30 minutes he was busy trying to fit the snowball sized sandwhich into his mouth. He almost drops it as he brings it to his lips. A couple sips in, and its dripping down his chin and into his lap. "Come on!" he cries, with a pout.

He places the drink on the table, and throws his head back, wincing at the stabbing pain that shot through his head at the quick movement.

He lets out a pitiful whimper as he lifts his head back up slowly, and opens his eyes to see the worker from earlier chuckling at him. 

"Whatchya lookin' at?" he slurs, his face falling into a frown, that probably looked like a pout. How would he know, hes drunk, and tired, and hungry, and cant even fit a godforsaken cheesburger into his mouth.

She drops her rag at the table she was cleaning, and takes a few tentative steps towards him as she coninues to laugh. "Watching a half drunk crackpot trying to eat a cheesburger without getting mustard all over his face" she says with a smirk. 

Toby continues to frown, and reaches for the burger for one more attmept. "Im not drunk" he lies.

He can already hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice as she talked. "Of course your not. Youre just smearing condiments and melted cheese all over your face for my enjoyment"

Toby face scrunches is annoyance, pushing the cheesburger towards his mouth, and biting down. "YOW!!" he cries, dropping the burger back onto the table and throwing his hands to his face to cradle his poor mouth. He stuck his tongue out, and crossed his eyes to look down at it with a sad expression.

He poked it a couple times, and winced "I thorry tongu" he slurs, as he continues to poke and prod at his tongue.

The girl is staring at him with a befudled expression. She probably didnt know what to think at this point. This man was petting his tongue at 4am in a McDonalds after biting down on it while trying to eat a cheesburger that was pressed against his cheek.

"Sir, do you need help cleaning yourself up?" she asks a bit reluctantly.

Toby looks up at her with a skeptical expression. Then down at himself, and his hands. Coffe had spilled all over his pants and seat, and his hands were covered in dried ketchup and mustard. Yuck

He attempts wiping his hands on his pants to get all the excess condiments off, but to no avail.

She rolls her eyes and takes another step closer to him, "come on, I'll help you to the bathroom and help you wash up" she says, grabbing him by the elbow and lifting him out of his seat.

"Thanks Happy" he slurs, stumbling along beside her. 

She raises an eyebrow at him, "how do you know my name?" she asks, pushing the swinging door to the mens bathroom open, and leading him inside.

"S'your name tag" he says, yawning widely and pointing lazily at the red and yellow name tag clipped to her shirt, and sure enought it read 'Happy'

"Come on numbnuts, my shift ended 10 minutes ago. I'll help you get washed up and you can be on your way"

Toby nods his head. He was beginning to feel much more sleepy than he was when he entered the fast food establisment.

He steps in front of the sink, gazing at his reflection in the mirror. What he sees is a little disturbing to say in the least. He rubs a hand along his scruff, that is crusted in ketchup.

Happy was gathering handfuls of papertowels, and making her way back over to the sink.

"I look like a two year old that just ate spaghetti" Toby whines, looking pitifullly into the mirror.

"I know" Happy sighs, running the first couple towels under the running water of the sink, and handing it over to Toby. "Here, wash your face off" she grunts.

"I may be drunk, but that does not mean im an idiot" he declares, smushing the wet glob of paper onto his face and letting it hang there for a time. Blocking out the iridescent lights that decorated the ceiling of the bathroom, and decreasing the pounding he felt against his forehead.

"Are you sure about that" Happy says, grabbing the papertowel off of his face with a sigh.

"I'm not your mother, I shouldnt be doing this" she mutters to herself as she cleans his face. Scrubbing the dried messiness out of his beard.

Toby humms in response from the feeling of the cool towel against his skin. "youd be really good at it though"

"Shut up" she says, throwing the towel in the trashcan, and watering down another one to continue.

A couple minutes pass with just the two of them in the bathroom , while Happy finishes cleaning his face, and moves on to his hands. 

"Do I know you?" he asks all of a sudden, cocking his head, and lowering his brows as if he was studying her.

"Yes" she says simply, walking over to te trashcan to throw the last dirty towel in the trash, and throwing open the door for the both of them. "Your my best friends cousin. Thats the only reason I'm helping you, because if she ever found out I didn't...I think she'd kill me" she says, leading Toby out of the bathroom.

His eyes light up in recognition. "oh my god! Youre Happy Quinn! Paige talks so much about you. At lesast whenever I see her" he yells triumphantly.

"Wait a second" she says, spinning on her heels to face him, "are you Walter O'brien's best friend" she asks, pointing an inquisitive finger in his direction. 

He chuckes to himself. "I wouldnt say best friend, but pretty close i guess, Why?"

Happy roll her eyes, before letting them meet his once again. "Maybe because your cousin is like obssessed with him. Thats all she talks about" she says, exasperatedly.

Toby laughs really hard, causing the throbbing in his head to return. He places a hand to his forehead as he continues to grin. "She's never told me that diretly, but I could obviously tell," he leans in to whisper somehing in her ear, "Dont tell her, but Walter is totally in love with her. Like...really in love"

Happy raises her brows for probably the millionth time that morning, she doesnt really believe him. "I think Paige would know if he really liked her or not. Shes really good with that kind of stuff."

Toby nods his head, carefully sitting down in his seat. In front of the mess of a cheesburger he was busy eating, or trying to eat, less than 10 minutes ago.

"I know," he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes as he tries to minimize the pain, "but she's really oblivious when it comes to him. Trust me, im a Harvard trained behaviorist. Walter O'brien is madly in love with Paige"

Happy shrugs her shoulders, as she silently hands him a couple ibuprofen from her bag, which he gladly accepts. Swallowing them both with a quick swish of his coffee. 

"You sure do not appear to be a succesful one, thats for sure" Happy says sarcastically, picking up his tray and moving it over to the nearest trash can. 

"Hey! I find that highly offensive. Even successful doctors need to get a little drunk from time to time" he huffs, crossing his hands over his chest.

Happy smirks, "Tell me Doc. How often is it that you find yourself at a bar, getting drunk" she asks, leaning towards him in a very condescending manner.

"That is personal information," he pauses for a moment, placing a hand over his mouth, "I think I'm starting to get over the drunk part, and moving full speed into the hungover part" he whines, ignoring her question, and moaning.

She rolls her eyes yet again, and helps him out of his seat. "Come on, I'll take you over to Paige's place. She'll take care of you"

Toby nods in agreement, and holds onto Happy's shoulder for support as he stands up. While she leads him to the parking lot outside, and to her truck.

Hes quiet for most of the ride home, trying to keep his breath even, and his thoughts to a minimum so he'll have to endure the least amount of pain possible.

When she pulls up in front of Paige's apartment building, he struggles to peel open his eyes.

Happy hops out of her truck, after putting it in park and cutting the engine. Rounding over to Toby's side, and throwing open his door.

He struggles with the seatbelt, and almost falls on his face while exiting the truck. Thankfully Happy's there to keep him upright. "Woah there you big lump. Watch it" she grunts, pushing him back to his feet.

She pushes him into the elevator, and rides up silently with him. Unlocking Paige's door, with the spare key she had given her, when they reach the second floor.

"You know, we should get together sometime. You bring Paige, and I'll bring Walter" he suggests, with a groan as she pushed him onto the couch, before maching back to Paige's room and knocking on the door rather loudly.

When she returns to the living room, Toby is passed out on the couch with an arm thrown over his eyes. 

She hadn't been gone for more than a minute. He probably talked himself to sleep.

Paige throws open the door, and steps out of her bedroom with a tired and angry glare directed in Happy's direction when she spots her.

Before she gets the chance to complain or say anything, Happy jutts her thumb over her shoulder at Toby collapsed on her couch. "Your drunk cousin came stumbling into McDonalds at 4am, and I sat there for half an hour watching him try and eat a cheesburger. It was very sad" she says, with a nod of her head.

Paige rushes over to the couch, and presses the back of her hand to Toby's forehead. "One day, hes gonna get in big trouble for all of this" she mutters. Grabbing a pillow from the floor, that Toby had kicked off the couch, and whacking him with it. "Get up you big lug!" she yells.

Toby jolts awake with a pitiful scream. His limbs fly around in all directions, and then he glares up at his cousin after grasping the situation. "Good to see you too cousin" he grunts sarcastically, sitting up, and rubbing his eyes.

He hears a creaking in the hallway, and the quiet shutting of a door, that Happy nor Paige seemed to notice. He glanced up to see both woman with their backs turned to a sneaky Walter O'Brien.

His eyes bug out when he sees him, and a grin slowly forms on his face as he looks at his friend paused midstep down the hallway. Cursing at himself for getting caught. Both Happy and Paige turned around slowly at the noise. Toby will surely never let it go, and both Paige and Walter look miserable after recognizing the smirk spread across his face. "Well well well. Happy, it looks like we dont need to get together after all" he slurs, shooting her a goofy grin.


End file.
